As we know from countless Hollywood Romcoms, the USA has a strong obsession with weddings. The most successful magazine on this subject is the monthly magazine Brides. Of all places, the trade journal for the romantic glorification of marriage now gives tips and advice on porn consumption and is remarkably relaxed.
The magazine, which belongs to the CondéNast empire of glamour magazines (Vogue, Vanity Fair, New Yorker), is published every two months with a circulation of over 300,000 copies and is part of the standard equipment of numerous couples who are planning to marry.
It now offers tips and advice on how to deal with pornography for newlyweds. The magazine is particularly opposed to the idea that the kind of movies that are consumed would have to say anything about desires for real sexual activities. »There is deep-seated insecurity that if our partner is into erotic material that doesn’t match our IRL sex life, that they must not be satisfied with us. If they want to watch threesomes, they must want to have a threesome; if they enjoy heavy bondage, they must crave some time in a dungeon. This is just not true. Porn does not dictate IRL sex preferences,« the magazine says, explaining that porn consumption and sex with one’s partner are two completely different things.
Brides explains that pornography is essentially an entertainment product that is not necessarily about real life desires and declares porn consumption to be largely normal. The social expectation towards porn is that people that watch »gang bang porn, they must want to do gang bangs all the time. That’s like saying your spouse is going to become a professional drifter after watching The Fast and The Furious.«
Throughout the article, the magazine advocates a relaxed approach to pornography and expresses remarkably open doubts about monogamous sex life: »We’re told to only have sex with one person for the rest of our lives, to only think about them, and to be happy with that for all time. While this can be true for some, we still need variety. We may want to try new positions, some bondage, and yes, porn. Having sex in the missionary position until we die is not particularly realistic or healthy.«
The magazine argues that the only effect on reality is that it can serve as a source of inspiration for variety in the sex life of couples: »You could be watching a really intense gang bang scene and think, ‘Well, I’d like my wife to spank me like that. I wouldn’t want all these other people around, but the spanking could be great.’«
Finally, however, Brides gives its readers a warning: Watching porn is fine and normal, but you can develop compulsive tendencies if you’re not careful. Being aware is critical. Experts will deviate on this claim, but we find it very similar to watching sports compulsively, every single day. Both porn and sports can affect your relationship and your sex life if you abuse them. It takes away from the real thing. Porn is highly stimulating. Too much of it can make IRL sex feel a bit lackluster. You do not want to get into this mindset. They are two completely different things and experiences.«
The article leaves its readers with this final advice: »Pay attention to your porn habits and communicate with your partner. If one of you believes that porn is getting the way of your real sex life, take a break or cut back. Your sex life comes first. While porn is entertaining and fun, if it takes the wind out of your sails during IRL sex, you have to be willing to acknowledge this and take action steps to fix it.«
The advice is provided with a link leading to a curated selection of the magazine in which porn films are recommended for couples.